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Authorized limited partners, board members, and Buckets only.
// Q3 2026 PORTFOLIO UPDATE
Synergies Cloud is doing great.
Please don't ask how.
Welcome back, Limited Partner. Here's your quarterly update on our largest, most confident, least explicable portfolio company.
// VALUATION VS. REVENUE
Up and to the right. Mostly up.
Revenue line independently verified by an agent. Valuation line independently verified by Buckets.
// CAP TABLE
Who owns Synergies Cloud
// LETTER FROM THE MANAGING PARTNER
Dear Limited Partners,
Q3 was a quarter of tremendous momentum for Synergies Cloud. The company raised a $40M Series A (rounded up), pivoted to AI (rounded up), and onboarded 8,000,000 ants (not rounded; we counted).
We continue to believe the ground is shifting under every industry, and that the smart move is to back whatever floats. Bjorn floats constantly. We have never been more aligned.
We're often asked what Synergies Cloud actually does. We consider this a sign of a very large market.
BergManaging Partner, Ice Floe Capital
// RISK FACTORS
Things our lawyers made us write down
- The CEO is a polar bear. Specifically, a stuffed one.
- The product does not yet exist. The waitlist is performing well.
- Key-person risk: the Chief Visionary Officer is frequently six miles offshore.
- A labor dispute with the Swarm Intelligence team (leaves vs. more leaves) is ongoing.
- Competitor CloudSynergy has our name, backwards, and $50M.
- Buckets.
// CAPITAL CALL #7
$1,400,000Due upon reading. Purpose of funds: one (1) replacement turtleneck, board-approved, plus related turtleneck infrastructure.
Upcoming: Series B, targeting $400M at a $4B valuation. Thesis: same, but more.
// DOCUMENTS
Board meeting: December 15, on a chairlift. Dress warmly.
Ice Floe Capital, its LPs, this report, and every number in it are made up. Bjorn is a stuffed polar bear. C’mon people.